Tuesday, August 9, 2011

A God of comfort, and peace.

I was thinking back to all the times I've felt God's comfort, and since this blog gives me an opportunity to share my heart with you all, I thought I'd reflect on that particular moment (I've felt His comfort more than once, but this particular event always comes to my mind...) Perhaps a better word than comfort, is peace. This verse comes to mind when I think back on this moment in my life, and I loved the way it read in the NLT: "Then you will experience God's peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus." Philippians 4:7.

In 2006 I started to desire a relationship with God, a real one. One that was more than saying that I believed in a God, and leaving it there. I bought a Bible, and I started to look for a church. I stumbled upon Centerview, and immediately knew I was in the right spot. During this time, Chris and I had been trying to get pregnant. Well, it worked! Around two weeks after I truly dedicated my life to God, I discovered I was pregnant! Talk about a Praise God moment! I kept thinking, "Wow, look what God has done! How great is He!" And you know what? He was great, He is great.

Chris was unaware that I was pregnant, he was in the field doing some training, so I had to wait until after he was home to tell him. I set up a baby book, a onesie, and the test in the front seat of our truck. It took him forever to finally realize what was sitting in the passenger seat, but as soon as he did, I could tell he was filled with excitement. We both were. Two days later, it all started.

I knew something was going on. I was having pain, and bleeding - things I didn't think were supposed to be happening while pregnant. I heard from a few that it could be normal, but to keep an eye on it. It got worse, much worse. I went to church on Sunday morning, and asked the Pastor to pray for me - he did. I went home immediately after, and we went to the ER. While the ER wouldn't confirm we had lost the baby, my hormone levels had dropped dramatically, and they could find nothing on an ultrasound. My heart was crushed.

But when my heart was broken, it gave God the opportunity to put it back together...with His strength.

I had to really sit and think about God, why was this happening? What on earth was going on? Now don't get me wrong, I'm not a crazy person who hears God talk to me all the time, but I clearly heard him this day. I've never heard him like this since, but he said, "Was I good before this? Was I enough?" I realized that if God was good the day I found out I was pregnant, surely He's good now - in the midst of my pain. So, I said yes, and the peace and comfort that flooded my life was unexplainable. I was saddened by my loss, yes, but I was filled with peace and even joy!

God didn't stop there. Remember the Pastor mentioned before who prayed with me? He called me a few days later to check on me, prayed with me again. The next day flowers were sent to my home from the church...God used Centerview Baptist church to be the "hands and feet of Jesus" all the more allowing me to experience God's peace in my life.

I knew I had to walk with Him, I had to have a relationship with him & half-hearted wasn't going to cut it.

So, I thank the Lord for that child. The child I never met. That child brought me to a place of absolute need to feel His comfort, His peace. And now, of course, I get to thank the Lord for the two more children He's blessed me with.

Our God is a God who loves us, who will comfort us, and who will give us peace! Trust Him, open your heart to Him, and seek Him. It did wonders in my life.

1 comment:

  1. This post gave me goosebumps!!! What an incredible story! God is truly amazing!!! I'm so sorry for your loss, but very happy that God was there to carry you through such a time of need :o).