Friday, September 23, 2011

Why not?

I recently discovered Pinterest. I'm an addict, at least I'll admit it! On this site you can search through all types of categories (fashion, home, crafts, etc) and you basically save what you like in whatever category you want to make. Examples: I have "All Things Fashion", "All Things Kids", "All Things Home", and etc. I started to make one more category, the name was going to be...

"Things I love, but would never do."

But, why not? If I love it, why not do it? Now, I'm not talking about anything extreme. I'm talking finger nail polish, a fancy pair of shoes, little things like that. So, why not? Fear of someone judging me for painting my nails in a shade other than pink or nude? Fear of someone wrongly assuming things about me because I like the appearance of high heels? Fear of falling in the high heels (okay, maybe that is legit...)Needless to say, I didn't create that category. I'm going to challenge myself - do things I love, but would never do. That's the perfect place to start, in the journey to be more than just a wife and mom, but to be me. God made me who I am, he knows my quirks, He knows my heart. Nail polish doesn't change who I am, I don't know why there is fear in that.

So, why not? I'm glad I asked myself that this morning.

Thursday, September 1, 2011

Family Update.

I haven't been around, sorry about that. I didn't have much to say, so I figured I'd just wait until I did. I honestly still don't have anything important to say, other than a little update for those who are "out of the loop".

Chris is now a full time student. Yep, it's true! He's also working, very hard, for the school's security. So, the ball is rolling, things still feel like an uphill battle, but at least we're on the right road!

I'm seeking employment. Night work, to be more exact; either that or childcare/preschool work. Anything that continues to allow me to be a stay at home mother - something we both feel very strong about.

Kayleigh, oh Kayleigh. What a spunky little thing! Well, it took all summer, but yesterday she finally wanted to "swim" all by herself! I wonder if she'll be excited for it next summer, or if we'll have to work on it again? She's so funny. The things three year old's say never cease to amaze me!

Matthew is so big! He's pulling himself up on everything, and starting to cruise the couch. Wasn't he JUST born? He's a sweetie though, such a cuddle bug!

Well, there it is! Told ya it wasn't much. I've tried a few times, and it won't let me post pictures right now, but hopefully I'll have something interesting to say soon!

Take care, ya'll!

Friday, August 19, 2011

A new adventure.

I am the momma of a 3 year old. Three, 3, THREE! No matter how I write it, it seems impossible. I can't believe my sweet Monster-child is three! Ya know what that means? Preschool! I've felt very convicted to look into homeschool. I'm not sure if it's for us, but I can't get it out of my mind. So, in order to get a feel for it, we're going to officially homeschool for preschool. We've just started this week, and Kayleigh loves her morning school time! This month we're going to focus on the alphabet, that will be our main "theme". We'll have a letter each day. On top of that I'm working with her on skills like cutting with scissors, and of course, our daily Bible lesson.

I honestly have no clue what I'm doing, but at least I can admit it, right? I've found many expensive books I could buy, but I'm not planning on it, at least not at this point. I don't figure 3 year olds learn from expensive books, they learn from parents.

Anyways. If anyone has any advice, links, or...anything, please let me know! Here are some pictures of our Big A, Little A day!

Sunday, August 14, 2011

Minute by minute

In a minute I'm going to say something that will slam my pride up against a brick wall, something I'd rather ignore, but something I think most of us probably feel about ourselves: I tend to be a slow learner. I'm convinced that before something "clicks" in my head, I'll get it wrong 100 times! I suppose I need to learn what NOT to do, before I can learn how to do it properly. Is anyone else like that? I sure hope so!

I struggled for a long time with walking in the Spirit. I just didn't understand why I kept slipping back into the "flesh". Basically, what that means is that I kept acting like the person I used to be before I gave my life over to Jesus Christ. I'd worry, I'd get angry, I'd say something I shouldn't say, do something I shouldn't do...etc etc.

Finally, things are starting to click! I'm starting to understand that we don't walk in grace by opening up God's word and reading it for 30 minutes each morning. That certainly plays a part, but it doesn't solve the problem so to say (at least not for me!) Walking with Christ, is minute by minute. I'm learning that by praying to Him often during my day, listening to music that brings glory to Him, talking to my kids about Him, and well, let's let scripture speak for itself, "Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable--if anything is excellent or praiseworthy--think about such things." Philippians 4:8. I'm always asking Him to keep me in line...but mostly, to just get me out of my own way. I try to do it my way, and my walk with Him crumbles. I'm just no good, He is!

I've also learned something else very important, probably the biggest key for me. When I do mess up, when I do make the choice to sin...He's still there. I tend to be a little like Jonah. Sin, run from God, try to hide, ignore what I know is right, and well, you know the story. I'm rather familiar with the belly of the whale. I'm learning that I don't have to clean myself up, get rid of my sin (as if that's possible!) before coming to Christ to ask Him for another chance. The second I feel myself walking away from Him, the second I feel temptation/worry/etc creep into my mind. I can stop right then, and invite Him to take control. I can go read scripture, I can pray, I can sing a song of praise...He always gives us a way, a "direct hotline" so to say.

And yes, I know, these are very "elementary" things to learn when it comes to walking with the Lord. But, as most of us know...knowing and doing are two very different things. I'm going to continue to be an absolute mess, without Christ. I'm going to continue to sin against Him, to worry, and to make mistakes. But, I'm also going to continue to trust in His grace, His love, and His mercy.

Another thing I'm finally learning (told you I was a slow learner!) My life is not my own. I serve a God who paid the price for my life. Jesus Christ paid with His blood to save me. When I make a choice on how to live my life, it needs to be pleasing to Him, it needs to bring glory to His name.

Such simple concepts. You know what they say though, better late than never. I'm so thankful that Christ lets us walk with Him minute by minute...

Tuesday, August 9, 2011

A God of comfort, and peace.

I was thinking back to all the times I've felt God's comfort, and since this blog gives me an opportunity to share my heart with you all, I thought I'd reflect on that particular moment (I've felt His comfort more than once, but this particular event always comes to my mind...) Perhaps a better word than comfort, is peace. This verse comes to mind when I think back on this moment in my life, and I loved the way it read in the NLT: "Then you will experience God's peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus." Philippians 4:7.

In 2006 I started to desire a relationship with God, a real one. One that was more than saying that I believed in a God, and leaving it there. I bought a Bible, and I started to look for a church. I stumbled upon Centerview, and immediately knew I was in the right spot. During this time, Chris and I had been trying to get pregnant. Well, it worked! Around two weeks after I truly dedicated my life to God, I discovered I was pregnant! Talk about a Praise God moment! I kept thinking, "Wow, look what God has done! How great is He!" And you know what? He was great, He is great.

Chris was unaware that I was pregnant, he was in the field doing some training, so I had to wait until after he was home to tell him. I set up a baby book, a onesie, and the test in the front seat of our truck. It took him forever to finally realize what was sitting in the passenger seat, but as soon as he did, I could tell he was filled with excitement. We both were. Two days later, it all started.

I knew something was going on. I was having pain, and bleeding - things I didn't think were supposed to be happening while pregnant. I heard from a few that it could be normal, but to keep an eye on it. It got worse, much worse. I went to church on Sunday morning, and asked the Pastor to pray for me - he did. I went home immediately after, and we went to the ER. While the ER wouldn't confirm we had lost the baby, my hormone levels had dropped dramatically, and they could find nothing on an ultrasound. My heart was crushed.

But when my heart was broken, it gave God the opportunity to put it back together...with His strength.

I had to really sit and think about God, why was this happening? What on earth was going on? Now don't get me wrong, I'm not a crazy person who hears God talk to me all the time, but I clearly heard him this day. I've never heard him like this since, but he said, "Was I good before this? Was I enough?" I realized that if God was good the day I found out I was pregnant, surely He's good now - in the midst of my pain. So, I said yes, and the peace and comfort that flooded my life was unexplainable. I was saddened by my loss, yes, but I was filled with peace and even joy!

God didn't stop there. Remember the Pastor mentioned before who prayed with me? He called me a few days later to check on me, prayed with me again. The next day flowers were sent to my home from the church...God used Centerview Baptist church to be the "hands and feet of Jesus" all the more allowing me to experience God's peace in my life.

I knew I had to walk with Him, I had to have a relationship with him & half-hearted wasn't going to cut it.

So, I thank the Lord for that child. The child I never met. That child brought me to a place of absolute need to feel His comfort, His peace. And now, of course, I get to thank the Lord for the two more children He's blessed me with.

Our God is a God who loves us, who will comfort us, and who will give us peace! Trust Him, open your heart to Him, and seek Him. It did wonders in my life.

Sunday, August 7, 2011

Lazy Sunday

We have a wonderful tradition within our family, a beautiful tradition, and this is called: Lazy Sunday. Sounds good, right? Trust me, it's as good as it sounds! It goes something like this: eat, go to church, praise God, come home, eat, play with kids, cuddle with kids, eat, play with kids, eat, bath, cuddle kids, and well, you get the point...

Sundays often remind me to keep my eyes open, remember what I'm blessed with, to focus on what really matters. So, let me reflect on today...

* My kids love their father, more than words could express. He was gone most of the day, at drill for the Army, and every 5 minutes I heard Kayleigh's sweet voice asking me when her daddy would be home to play with her. She loves him, endlessly. And when he did get home I got to watch Matthew's eyes light up with joy seeing his daddy walk through the door. How blessed are my kids!
* We're blessed to have found a new church, a church we feel at home, a church who appreciates the military & the sacrifices their families make. I will always miss Centerview (and as I'm writing this, I'm listening to Pastor Mike online, praise God for technology!) I'm thankful for God leading us to Emmanuel Baptist though.
* It's always an adventure to put a puzzle together with a 3 year old, and try to dig the pieces out of my 8 month old's mouth.
* Listening to Kayleigh say, "Maffew, follow me, come play in my room." How can that not melt your heart?
* Pink baths! Food coloring is amazing. A plain ole' bath can be turned into a magical time with a few drops. Kids love it!
* And last, but not least, my husband loves me. Did he bring home flowers or jewelry? No, but he doesn't need to. He just loves me. I'm blessed!

I need to count my blessings more often. I think we all do. Did you recognize a blessing today?

Saturday, August 6, 2011

Fight Like A Girl

I used to love to read. Give me a good book, and I'd happily cuddle up on the couch and read for hours. That, of course, changes with kids. You don't have hours to sit on the couch, you usually don't have a few minutes even. I really missed reading, I missed what it brought into my life, so I decided to make it a priority again. Certainly I could turn off the TV at night, and read for an, I am, and I love it! My first read is Fight Like A Girl by Lisa Bevere.

I'm loving it. It's isn't a hard read, but there's truth in her words. I've felt like she was talking to me as we sat in a coffee shop several times. What's it about? Gender roles, the beauty and power that women have if/when they live their lives as Christ intended, and even the beauty in allowing a man to be a man. Our culture has lost a lot of that. Even myself, who is considered very traditional by most, falls into the temptations to want to take on a male role in my family. Very good read, I'd definitely reccomend it if you're looking for something!

Not to only mention the book, but look at that bracelet! I want it! A high heel, a cross, a dager, a boxing glove, a purse, and a heart?! Yes, please!

It's a good reminder to know that simply being a woman, who God intended us to be, that is our strength. We don't have to attempt to attach ourselves to the qualities of men to be strong, we're the strongest when we allow God to use us as He pleases. Without Him, we can do nothing anyways!

Friday, August 5, 2011

Do I have anything interesting to say?

I've thought about blogging for a while, but the above question has "haunted" me. Do I really have anything of worth to say? And honestly? No, probably not. God does, so hopefully there are times I can allow Him to speak through me, but as for me alone...nope, not a single thing. Why then would I make a blog? I think everyone needs something of their own, maybe this is mine. I think almost everyone who reads this will know me, I can probably skip the introduction post.

What I can say is that this new chapter in my life has been a roller coaster already, Chris being out of the Marines is, unfortunately, everything I expected. I'm not enjoying it as of now, but I am thankful I'm going through this with him & nobody else. I'm blessed to have him, and our beautiful kids. God's up to something, and He's always working things for the good of those who love Him - thing is, it isn't always what we think is's what He knows is good for us (and His glory!)

What am I hoping to gain from this? I've thought about that too, as I considered making a blog, and I've seem to come up empty handed. All of my goals seem to be selfish, but I keep going back to, "Remember who I am." I don't want to do that selfishly though, I want to find a way to be true to myself all by being faithful to realize it's all about Him, not about me.

So, let me see where this takes me...and, for a little cute factor - enjoy the babies!